Brantley- 10 months.

I know I always start out each update with something to the effect of "my baby's getting so big!", but it's true. My baby is 10 moths old! In less than 2 months I'll be celebrating his 1st birthday! It's hitting me extremely hard that he's so grown and I've been incredibly sad about it.

It blows me away to think about how far he's come in just 10 short months. There are now 4 teeth in his little mouth, FOUR TEETH! Can you believe it?! Sometimes I forget about them until he smiles that sweet little smile at me. The first 3 came in almost effortlessly but this 4th one gave him hell. A rash, fever, the whole nine yards. His physical milestones haven't changed much, aside from his attempt to stand unassisted these past 2 days. It's a pretty comical thing to see, him flailing his little arms bouncing off the floor. He can walk like a pro if I hold his hands and runs all over the house with the little push toy I bought a few months ago.

It's not really new, but we discovered that he LOVES water. Showers, baths, puddles, pools, rivers, oceans. All of it, right down to the melted ice cubes on the kitchen floor. He tries so hard to drink out of our adult cups. It usually ends in a wet sticky mess bur it's always a cute sight.

These past few weeks more than ever he's been a mommas boy. I can't walk out of his sight without a full blown melt down. It breaks my heart but sometimes I need to pee alone!  I saved two of the biggest updates for last, it's been nearly a month now and Brantley is 100% off the bottle!  & the biggest update,  he took 3 STEPS ALL BY HIMSELF.  Completely on his own.

Watching this little boy grown and learn is the biggest blessing I could've ever been given. I thank God every day for giving me a happy, healthy, thriving little boy.  A stubborn, ornery, nosy boy, but I love him none the less. Watching him grow and learn each day is the most hitter sweet feeling. If motherhood has taught me one thing it's that I'm not just Brantley's teacher, he's mine as well. In just 10 short months I've been taught to look at things a whole new way. I've learned more looking at the world through his eyes than I ever could have on my own.

Brantley's first fever

My poor boy woke up at 3 am with his first ever fever. I've been thankful that we made it this far with no sickness,  but he was so miserable last night.

I could tell something was up by the way he was sleeping. Usually a hard still sleeper, I could hear him thrashing and whimpering for hours. He woke up for a bottle and I noticed his head was burning up so I stripped his footie jammies off,  put just a onsie on him and brought him to our bed. Daddy helped me give him some pain reliever & fever reducer medicine. I tried to rock and cuddle him back to sleep with me but he just wanted to climb around. I let him be hoping he'd wear himself out, about 45 minutes later I laid him in his crib with a sippy cup of formula and about 5 minutes later he was out.

Thankfully, he woke up feeling much better today! Still a bit warm, but he's been acting like himself which is great!

A slap in the face

Last week my husband got a phone call that no oilfield man ever wants to get. He was released from his contract... He's still a Woodgroup employee but he has no contract right now, meaning he's not working, meaning he's not getting a paycheck. So after this month I have no clue how we'll pay our bills unless he gets another job, STAT! We took out a loan on his 401K (if you don't have one, GET ONE!) and this paycheck we just got was a good one.

I swallowed my pride and applied for food stamps and Medicaid for Brantley. I'm praying we get at least something.  I've been so stressed and worried about this... I try so hard to stay positive for my husband, because I can only imagine what's going on in his mind, but it's getting difficult. My anxiety is through the roof, my Prozac has been doing nothing for me lately. I feel worse than I did before I started taking it.


This post is going to be short because I just don't have the energy to talk about this one....