A little bit or everything;

We've had SO much going on these past few weeks! I've been meaning to sit down and write a good, long update for a while now. It obviously hasn't happened!

For starters, we got our tax return and paid off our extra bills, the TV and my kitchen aid mixer my husband bought through QVC, our washer and dryer, and last but not least we finally bought furniture! Justin bought himself a PS4, I got a laptop and little Brantley got all kinds of stuff!

I think my favorite of all our expenditures is my cloth diaper stash for Brantley! We've got 27 right now, I'm waiting on 8 more to come in and then I'll be at 35! I ideally want 40 so I've got to find a few more I like and then I'll be completely done! It feels nice to be able to say I won't be buying disposable diapers again for a while. I do plan to use them in the beginning for our future babies until they get big enough to fit the cloths well.

We had an 'opportunity' I suppose you could call it to look in to buying a house. Unfortunately Justin's credit was just a few points to low for us to get the loan we wanted, and I had no credit. This is the first time I've ever been told that no credit is worse than bad credit. We decided to just keep rolling the way we are and look in to it again in a year or so. We've begun saving for a new car finally. By May I should have a new whip ;)

I suppose that's the best I've got for exciting updates... I'm not sure what's been going on with me lately, but I've been so short tempered. Not only with just everyday life, but with my sweet sweet husband. I always feel so awful, but I just get so aggravated with him. He works his ass off while I stay home and tend to Brantley and the house. I feel like asking him to help me with the simplest house chores is to much. We just bicker about everything these past few days! I hate it, no matter how much I try to child my tongue I end up "being a mean ass " as he likes to put it. I'm so over it.

Brantley has begun the horrible teething adventure, and it's been a rough road so far. I've been giving him Hylands teething tablets and I've been meaning to get him an amber teething necklace. I've hears great things and I'm hoping it helps.

Well, that's all I've got for now.... I'm off to shower and wake up my husband that's been 'napping' since 5pm....

My birth experience

I know I posted my birth story, but I never elaborated on the experience I had.

I was hell bent on having a natural unmedicated birth. Meaning no induction, nothing to speed up progress, no pain meds. That plan would obviously have gone out the window if Brantley's health became a concern.

Once I hit 37 weeks my blood pressure became a concern. It wasn't high, but I  was told I had borderline pre eclampsia. I had every sign/symptom except proteins in my urine, that's the only thing that kept my OB from putting me on bed rest. I took the few precautions I could. My blood pressure stayed higher than my OB wanted, and I know exactly why. With Justin working off shore I was stressing big time about what would happen if I went in to labor while he was on the rig. I was having serious anxiety about it. Once I hit my due date my doctor and I discussed induction, not only because of my blood pressure, but to ensure Justin was there for the birth. We scheduled an induction for the next day. As much as I wanted to go in to labor on my own I was way to stressed out and was beginning to worry that if I continued to stress like I was I would end up with and emergency induction/c-section while Justin was gone due to my blood pressure. I knew if we didn't have the Brantley that day that I would go in to labor while Justin was gone, and that wasn't an option.

Induction was fail number one for me. I was progressing very well on my own once they gave me the pill to start labor, but I still had the chance to prove to myself and Justin that I could do it with out pain meds. Once my contractions started to come on, they came strong.  I was in excruciating pain, one contraction wasn't fully released before another started. I couldn't breath, move or think straight. I did what I could to manage my pain, but I was unfortunately confined to the bed for the most part. Justin was a huge help with pretty much everything, but he was at a lose as to how to help me with the pain. I also wasn't the best at communicating with him as to how he could help. I yelled a lot and said a lot of mean things. Cervical checks are painful, with or without having contractions during them. I had to have a nurse practicality hold me down to keep me from moving up in the bed so my OB could accurately check my cervix. The last cervical check I had before the epidural I was at 4 cm, my OB was shocked at how strong my contractions were registering for only being at a 4. It was then that I cried for the epidural. I couldn't do it. I failed to prove to myself, and my husband that I could do it without one. Once I had the epidural I could breath again. I was finally able to rest a little bit. I continued to progress well on my own for a while. They started me on pitocin at some point, I was so out of it I can't even accurately remember. One of the biggest reasons I didn't want drugs in the first place.

I beat myself up for the whole process daily. I have a happy healthy baby and I'm extreamly grateful for that, but I absolutely hate the labor experience I had with him. We're currently trying for a second baby, so I do get another chance to have the birth I want. I found a hospital in then area that allows water births, so I'll be having an unmedicated water birth if things go my way :)