My birth experience

I know I posted my birth story, but I never elaborated on the experience I had.

I was hell bent on having a natural unmedicated birth. Meaning no induction, nothing to speed up progress, no pain meds. That plan would obviously have gone out the window if Brantley's health became a concern.

Once I hit 37 weeks my blood pressure became a concern. It wasn't high, but I  was told I had borderline pre eclampsia. I had every sign/symptom except proteins in my urine, that's the only thing that kept my OB from putting me on bed rest. I took the few precautions I could. My blood pressure stayed higher than my OB wanted, and I know exactly why. With Justin working off shore I was stressing big time about what would happen if I went in to labor while he was on the rig. I was having serious anxiety about it. Once I hit my due date my doctor and I discussed induction, not only because of my blood pressure, but to ensure Justin was there for the birth. We scheduled an induction for the next day. As much as I wanted to go in to labor on my own I was way to stressed out and was beginning to worry that if I continued to stress like I was I would end up with and emergency induction/c-section while Justin was gone due to my blood pressure. I knew if we didn't have the Brantley that day that I would go in to labor while Justin was gone, and that wasn't an option.

Induction was fail number one for me. I was progressing very well on my own once they gave me the pill to start labor, but I still had the chance to prove to myself and Justin that I could do it with out pain meds. Once my contractions started to come on, they came strong.  I was in excruciating pain, one contraction wasn't fully released before another started. I couldn't breath, move or think straight. I did what I could to manage my pain, but I was unfortunately confined to the bed for the most part. Justin was a huge help with pretty much everything, but he was at a lose as to how to help me with the pain. I also wasn't the best at communicating with him as to how he could help. I yelled a lot and said a lot of mean things. Cervical checks are painful, with or without having contractions during them. I had to have a nurse practicality hold me down to keep me from moving up in the bed so my OB could accurately check my cervix. The last cervical check I had before the epidural I was at 4 cm, my OB was shocked at how strong my contractions were registering for only being at a 4. It was then that I cried for the epidural. I couldn't do it. I failed to prove to myself, and my husband that I could do it without one. Once I had the epidural I could breath again. I was finally able to rest a little bit. I continued to progress well on my own for a while. They started me on pitocin at some point, I was so out of it I can't even accurately remember. One of the biggest reasons I didn't want drugs in the first place.

I beat myself up for the whole process daily. I have a happy healthy baby and I'm extreamly grateful for that, but I absolutely hate the labor experience I had with him. We're currently trying for a second baby, so I do get another chance to have the birth I want. I found a hospital in then area that allows water births, so I'll be having an unmedicated water birth if things go my way :)