Never letting go

                                           "I want to hold you and never let go"

     This is a phrase I know we're all familiar with and I'm sure at some point we've all said it. I used to tell Justin this every time he left me for the rig.  If you REALLY think about it though, how many times have you held someone and physically had to force yourself to let them go? I'm sure some people have just said that for the novelty of it and some people really mean it. Tonight after I went down stairs to check on Brantley and Justin I found Brantley sleeping which I expected. I picked him up and carried him to his bed and all of the sudden I was just overcome with emotions and love for my sweet boy. My sweet yet very rotten and spirited boy. I don't know why but it hit me incredibly  hard in that moment that I've failed him as a mother lately, while he is a very deliberately defiant little boy at times I've been incredibly harsh on him. When he misbehaves instead of using that as an opportunity to teach him the right way we yell and put him in time out. I've really been trying to take a gentler approach to disciplining him and so far I've failed.

    Anyway, I derailed from the point of this post! While standing in Brantleys room tonight as I was about to lay him down I didn't want to. I mean I literally didn't ever want to let him go,  had to force myself to lay him down. I could have stood there swaying with his sweetly sleeping body in my arms for eternity. I've obviously always loved my children more than anything but in that short, sweet moment I realized exactly what a mothers love really is, it's never wanting to let go.