The never ending cycle

I'm in a major funk these days. I'm lazy and sleepy and I have NO motivation to clean my house or do anything really. I feel as though all I do is clean and do for other people. I'm not talking about Brantley, I knew what I took on when I got pregnant and as tired or aggravated as I may get I love every second of taking care of Brantley. He by the way, has been insanely clingy the past few days. I suppose I'm referring to the const and needs to clean my house and take care of my husband. I love that man to death, but he's been making me absolutely crazy the past few days. He works his ass off on the rig and I don't mind one bit doing things for him or "taking care of him", but I need a break! Just something a simple as going to get a coffee from Starbucks and getting my nails done. That reminds me that I desperately need to get my eyebrows waxed... I know being a mother means not getting many breaks, if any at all, but dear God am I in need of just an hour to myself.

Coupled with the stress of just always being pulled in a hundred different directions is the financial struggle we've been stuck in for the past month or so. I've said it before and I'll say it again, my husband makes too much money for us to ever have to worry about money. These past few weeks are just a vicious cycle, a seemingly endless rut. I feel like we'll never get out of. If it's not one thing it's another, and if it can go wrong it does. I'm not normally one to feel sorry for myself but I've been full of self pity lately. I believe this rut we're temporarily stuck in has a lot to do with my moods. In fact, I know it does. Our bank is a big problem, we have our car insurance and banking through USAA. Our car insurance is set to auto withdrawl on a certain date and USAA seems to think it's okay to wait 5 days after the due date to take the payment, or even 2 days before then due date. With all these varying dates there aren't always enough funds left depending on what else we've had going on, thus leaving us with not only an over draft fee, but a fee from the auto insurance branch of USAA. Due to the banks stupidity we've paid nearly $180 in fees alone this week, on an already extremely tight paycheck. The day after Justin gets home we're going to open an account with Eglin and I'm hoping we'll be better off there. I'm sick of this struggle. We get paid and just a few short hours late nearly the whole check is gone to bills, groceries and general necessities. I've started couponing which helps a little, but so far there hasn't been a very noticeable difference in out grocery bill. I'm hoping in another month or so that will be different.

I suppose that's all of my complaints and updates for the past few days...

Small milestones

Once you have a baby, it seems as if they're constantly learning something new! I feel like Brantley does something new every day!

Lately he's discovered his feet! He loves to grab them and put his little toes in his mouth, it's to cute. Pretty soon he's going to be holding his own bottle and probably crawling, that's a pretty big milestone though. It's such a bitter sweet feeling to watch him grow, I'm beyond excited to see him grow and learn but at the same time I want him to stay my sweet innocent little boy forever. He's completely outgrown his 0-3 month clothes, though now that I'm seeing how good his 3-6 month stuff fits I'm realizing in should have switched everything out over a month ago! He's always been long and he actually outgrew 0-3 month jammies at just barely 2 months old, but to actually box up all his tiny baby clothes (something I've been avoiding) makes it all so real! My newborn isn't a newborn anymore!

Seeing all these small things, along with the big, makes me thankful that I've been blessed enough to be able to he a mommy and experience the joy that is motherhood.

Brantley- 4 months

I suppose since I never did a 1 or 3 month update I'll just stick to every other month.
Brantley hit 4 months on the 24th and we went to the doctor for a well baby visit and his shots. He weighed in at 15 lbs 7 oz and was 25 inches long! He's growing like a weed! He did better with his
is shots than last time, though he still didn't take it well, my poor little butt :(

We're still battling what I feel is an abnormal about of spitting up. I had been planning to switch him to soy formula instead of just the sensitive, but to do so I needed a prescription for the WIC office in order to give me the checks for soy formula. A few days before the doctors appointment I got a letter from the WIC office and due to changing calorie counts they'll be changing what they provide from Similac sensitive to Similac soy,  we will be switching his formula in the next few weeks. Hopefully we can get his tummy troubles straightened out!

On a brighter note, my little man is on the move! He can roll from his back to his belly and he's quite fond of rolling all over the house. It won't be long before he's crawling! We got the OK from the doctor to start baby food, we've tried it a few times and he's not to interested so we're going to wait a few weeks and try again. He's loving his toys and chews on anything he can get in his mouth. He loves to make noise and has this crazy screechy noise he makes we hen he's happy. Being a naked butt is probably his favorite thing so far, he loves bath time and showers. Getting dressed is a fight as always. He's still not sleeping through the night, unfortunately. But I'm hoping it'll come soon. Mommy's tired! He loves the swing, still, and he's coming around the the jumperoo. I'm slowly packing away the 0-3 month clothes, mostly because I don't want to admit he's grown out of them all now. My little man is getting so big!

Bad budgeting

I've been slacking big time these past few weeks with the blog... I just have no motivation to do anything. I have tons of thoughts that I could blog about but no energy to put them down.

Today I'm going to touch on a more personal subject for most people.

Money and finances.

In the last 4 months we've had a baby, gotten married, the holidays came, and we moved. Those things will take a toll on anyone's bank account, and they certainly have on ours. I've always assumed that people just know that good money comes along with working in the oil field. My husband makes very good money, we shouldn't be dealing with the struggles we are. I'll start by pointing out that we have no savings account, which is a huge problem. Small things come up and then we end up broke, for instance 2 weeks ago I had to replace the battery in my hideous vehicle to the tune of $97, which left us with almost nothing in the bank account. Then Justin ended up needing to be driven to work, to the toon of $150 in gas, and guess what happens on my way home? I run over a 2 inch piece of metal and blow my tire, which means a new tire had to be bought, costing us $115! January fell just right and we are getting 3 paychecks and we were planning to use the extra one to catch up on a few bills and get new furniture for our new house but due to all the crap above that didn't happen.

I've always had what I suppose you could call a sense of pride in how well I handled our finances, and lately I've been off my game. I used to make sure all the bills were paid on time, if not early and this past month has been awful, there were a few bills paid late and one even over drafted out account. My husband makes way to much money for us to ever go in to the negative, that was a huge math error on my part. We're finally caught up on everything, except what hasn't come in yet of course and it feels wonderful.

Justin and I did some serious work and reflecting on our budget this past hitch home and we've decided that once his bonus comes in and out tax return is here we'll be buying a new car. We've decided on a Toyota Camry! After the past trip and pack to NOLA with my truck and the problems that have been arising I just don't feel safe in the Explorer. I used to always brag about how reliable it was, even though it looks like hell. And it's really been the opposite lately. It's wheeled me well and saved mine and Brantley's life a time or two, but it's time to move on. I know it seems like buying a new car is probably the last thing we should do given the things I've touched on in this post but I do believe a new car is not only the answer to a lot of our problems but it will help us save in the long run.

I should also mention I've taken up couponing with a very dear friend of mine. I've always been a bargain shopper and as long as the quality is still up to my expectations the cheaper the better. I'm still fairly new to the coupon scene, but I've already got a mini stock pile! I'll probably never be as extream as the TV show, but I see nothing wrong with stocking up on things we use regularly. I've already got quite the lay dry soap collection, 14 bottles, which will be around 2-3 years of deterrent for right around $20!

I suppose that's all for today, folks!

"It could be worse"

As an oil field wife I find my self hearing this statement quite often. People ask what my husband does for a living and I always answer with "He's in the oilfield". Surprisingly many people question me further as they have no clue what that field consists of, which gets irritating but I suppose it comes with the territory and I can live with it. What I can't live with though, is the constant pity. If I had a penny for every time I've been told "I'm sorry." "I couldn't do it.", "That must suck." or even "Lucky, I wish I got time away from my husband" I'd have a shit load of pennies...

I can't stand pity, it makes me feel weak and I am far from weak. Do not pity me because my husband works away from home, don't tell me I'm lucky that I get time apart from my husband. I don't want time away from my husband. I married him to be with him, not to spend litteraly half or our relationship apart.

There aren't many people in my area that know how tough it is to be an oil field wife, so I joined a Facebook group and met quite a few woman in my area that I've become close with and it's so wonderful to have woman I can relate to. They don't pity me. One thing I've ran in to is a lot of them seem to think that because of my husband being on a 7/7 rotation that we have it easy. I get extremely sick of woman trying to tell me it could be worse, or I don't know how hard it is because he only does 7/7. I will venture to say that 7/7 is one of the worst rotations you can get. It sucks, and it sucks hard. I don't care what rotation your husband works, we all have it tough and I don't get why someone always has to one up the other person.

I guess long story short, I'm just in a funk tonight and have a lot to bitch about. And that would be why this posy is all over the place.

A year in review

This post is obviously late, but I've been insanely busy! 2013 was full of ups, downs, and Manny stresses, but it was hands down the most amazing year, so far.

- Justin got a wonderful job offshore.
- I found out I was pregnant, with a little boy to be named Brantley Dean Polk.
- I was given the opportunity to be a housewife/stay at home mom.
- Justin and I lived 100% on our own for the first time.
- I had my first legitimate car accident, with a sheriff!
- I gave birth to our first child in September.
- Justin and I got married in November.
- We moved it to a wonderful rental home that I hope holds us over until we can build a home soon.

There were obviously many more amazing things that happened in 2014, but we'd be here all day if I types them all out.

I have big plans for my little family in 2014! We plan to buy me a brand new dream  mommy mobile, Justin's holding out for a Porche so his dream car is a few years away. I'm hoping our family of 3 will he a family of 4 by the end of the year, and we want to he well on track to buying a home if we haven't already, building is still a few years away. Our dream 6 bedroom home will be no small feat to build!

This post, as always, had been a bit dis organized but blogging while cuddling my sleeping son is a bit difficult.